Finding the Right Homes for Retired Hounds in the Delaware, Maryland, D.C., Virginia Area ...and Beyond!
Dog Diaries

The Case of the Lady's Greyt Day

by Ron Powell

~~My name is Prince Frecklebum, Greyhound Detective. I wasn't always a detective. I was a racer once, before I retired. My track name was Occam's Razor of Lightspeed Doom. You can call me Prince. Most of the humans around these parts do.

Her? That's Lady. She used to be called Maury and Arty's Heart of Treachery and she could have been a detective's worst enemy but that's all changed, now. Now, she's the best darn cousin and up-and-coming Greyhound Detective you could ever want in a partner. She's got some rough edges to smooth over, yet, but we're a team and we can solve any case that comes our way.

Take the other day, for instance...

It was bright and early when we got up. I was on my favorite dog bed on the floor. Lady had wiggled her way in between Mom and Dad and was snoring like a rusty buzzsaw.

"Prince. I. Do. Not. SNORE."

Like a rusty buzzsaw. Because that could not have been Dad. Trust me. Anyone who shares his bacon cheeseburger could not snore and the sound was coming from the bed.

"Prince? Sharing does not mean you take what you want off his plate while his back is turned."

"Look, rookie, you still have a lot to learn and I know what sharing means. You could tell how happy Dad was to share by the big sounds he made. I noticed you didn't turn down the bacon I offered you."

"Nevermind that. Quit accusing me of snoring!"

I still don't know why Dad insisted on leaving the windows cracked all night or why he had a big can of that stuff he sprays in the room with the big white water bowl all the time. I wish he'd quit spraying it towards me, though.

"Oh, Prince..."

Anyway, it was definitely time to nose-poke Dad in the eye because the loud boxy thing hasn't gone off yet. I'll let mom sleep a while, though, because I think she wants to share her bacon and eggs with me later. I wandered over to Dad, aimed my nose at his eye and *poke*.

"Huh, wha? geroff me ya crazy mutt. t'early. leeme lone. sleepy."

That's Dad's special super happy morning language for "please poke my other eye." So I do.

"Dangdogiougghta*grumble*mumble*pound. Call Ms. Lisa seefidont"

A quick snuffle kiss and Dad's feet are on the floor. Mom's giggling musta woke Lady, 'cuz she jumped off the bed and waited patiently with me by the door. I'm such a good influence on her. She's so lucky to have me!

The morning routine went off without a hitch. Bacon and Eggs beat my usual meal by a mile. Mom made really big happy sharing sounds and Dad was laughing for no apparent reason. Sharing is caring, you know!

"Prince. You keep using the word 'sharing'. I do not think it means what you think it means. Thanks for the bacon, though."

"As you wish. Anyways, if they didn't want me to have it, they wouldn't leave it where I can easily reach it while standing on the chair with my front feet on the table and my neck stretched to the limit. It only stands to reason. Also, happy noises!!"

Then, we did something a little unusual. Mom packed up a bag, put muzzles on us and we hopped in the car. After a short ride we got out at a new place. There were lots of Greyhound buddies I'd met before. We spent a while sayin' hello then went inside. It was a big room with lots of toys and soft mats everywhere. When the doors closed, everyone got unleashed and we got to run. We ran this way. We ran that way. We ran in packs. We drank water. We peed on the floor. We had lots of humans to love. It was AWESOME!

"You can say that again, Prince!"


"Prince, I didn't mean it like that."

"Then don't say it."

Anyway, for a good solid hour we ran and ran and played with our friends and administered large doses of Greyhound Love to all the humans. I guess they weren't getting enough Greyhound Love with just their hounds so they needed to get a big group of us together. They probably weren't feeling good or something and they needed us to feel better. It happens. I'm just glad I could be there for them. And that's how I solved...

"Prince, you left out the important part." After the fun run, we got long, luxurious baths. Prince acted like he'd rather do just about anything than get a bath, but I'm so pretty after a bath how could you not like them? I smelled real nice, they put a pretty little bow on me, I got my nails done, I got a new pretty collar with lots of sparkly things on it, I got treats for being a good girl, everyone told me how pretty I was and unlike some Greyhound Detectives, I didn't try to run away or shake water over everyone for spite.

Ahem. And that's how I...

"We!", we solved the Case of the Lady's Greyt Day.

Greyhounds aren't just dogs, they are a way of life!