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Dog Diaries

Prince Frecklebum, Greyhound Detective:The Case of the Upset Mommy

by Ron Powell

My name is Prince Frecklebum, Greyhound Detective. I wasn't always a detective. I was a racer once, before I retired. My track name was Occam's Razor of Lightspeed Doom. You can call me Prince. Most of the humans around these parts do.

Today, I solved the Case of the Upset Mommy. Humans are weird, you know that. Today they were weirder than most. It started out like any other day...

After a quick cold-nosed eye-poke on Dad and a quick check on all the kids the day got off to its normal start. I solved the case of the empty food bowl for the 512th time, helped organize the couch cushions on the floor, saw Dad and the kids off to school and work (there must be lots of greyhounds at school and work because they spend a lot of time there) but instead of cuddling on the couch with me and watching tv, Mom went back to bed. She made all sorts of weird barking, sneezing and rooing sounds. She took all sorts of treats from every kind of bottle, can, box and bag you can imagine. I think the treats made her sick cuz she kept making all the weird sounds like dad does after his third Volcano Mucho Grande burrito (which are tasty but make me not want to go outside) except mom wasn't in the room with the big white water bowl. Experimentally, I jumped up on the bed beside her and put my head on her tummy. She sighed and scratched my ears.

After a half hour of quiet contemplation, I jumped off the bed and Mom was immediately disappointed. She made an "awwwwww" kind of sound. It's the same sound she make when she opens her bag of chocolates and finds there aren't any left. I know Dad's the culprit but I'm no stool pigeon. I dunno why they like to eat those things. I ate one once and got a car ride and a visit to the vet that I sure don't want to repeat again. Anyway, I did a quick perimeter check, because that's what Greyhound Detectives do. There were no squirrles, rabbits, deer or treats anywhere to be found. Bummer. Afterwards I found mom was still lying on the bed pulling the white shreddy-things out of the box they come in, except she wasn't shredding them! She was using them to catch nose drips. Silly Mommy, that's what the floor, Dad's pant leg and your tongue is for. They sure do have a lot to learn. At least I'm here to teach them! What would they do without me.

Anyway, being the Detective I am, I search for more clues to why mom is in bed instead of taking me for walks, giving me treats and picking up all the dog toys in the floor (who knows why they keep showing up there). I figure I'll hop up on the bed again and snuggle mom while I try to figure out why she's making weird noises. Don't you know it? As soon as I flopped down on the bed next to her, she makes all sorts of happy human noises. I hopped back down. She sounds sad again. Back up. Happiness. I think I've figured it out! Mom is sad because she wants me to lay on the big bed with her all day! Well, never let it be said that a gentleman I am not. For the rest of the day, I laid there with mom. It was quite the chore, but I got through it. She seemed to like it pretty well.

After a while, Dad came home. Mom told him all about how I was her buddy and made her feel better all day. I kind of hope she is sad and wants to share the bed again tomorrow. I especially like when she made the hot chicken water and fell asleep. It was soooo yummy! Anyway, Case closed! Chalk up another one for Prince Frecklebum, Greyhound Detective.

Greyhounds aren't just dogs, they are a way of life!